And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
