Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
