I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
