The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just invented taco cereal.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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