anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
