Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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