THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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