I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
