Don't you send me to vm
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
