whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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