just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize