Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize