Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
