My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
