I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Success! We fucked roommates!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
