...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
