Don't you send me to vm
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
