Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
