I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have feelings that need drinking.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
