Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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