There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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