i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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