he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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