i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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