I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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