I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
