I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
