Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
