I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
