those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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