Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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