dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
