Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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