Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
