So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
