I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
