You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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