I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
