Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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