Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
