Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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