and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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