Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
