Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
