So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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