i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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