He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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