every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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