you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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