So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
