I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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