Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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