carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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