Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
