dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
