Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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