Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
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Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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