apparently the secret to your success is patron
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
