i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
