OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm both gender and math confused
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
