So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
