Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I want a musical about memes.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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