she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
