ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
