she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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