I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
